ResNet Review is the Energy Newsletter for the Shalennial Generation

Here’s our top Energy Headlines for December:

1. NAUGHTY BOY BERNARD LOONEY HAS ROUGH CHRISTMAS 🎅

2. CLIMATE PROTESTER THROWN IN JAIL ⛓️

NAUGHTY BOY BERNARD LOONEY HAS ROUGH CHRISTMAS

• BP said former Chief Executive Bernard Looney will lose out on as much as $40.6 million in compensation as the result of his abrupt resignation over past relationships with colleagues.

  • While $40M seems like a lot, it’s actually a bargain compared to the CEO of McDonald’s who had to return $100M in compensation for similar indiscretions.

• Looney had rapidly put his mark on BP, promising to invest more in low-carbon energy alongside its traditional businesses of oil-and-gas production. The amount he must return is based on assumptions about share price and would have fluctuated based on performance.

  • Looney was playing chess while the board was playing checkers on this one. Here’s how the plan worked:

1. Looney makes a bunch of low-carbon investments. The ladies love these even though the returns aren’t great..

2. The low-carbon investments tank the share price relative to peers. Chevron’s up 45%, BP’s down 5%. Now you’re on the hot seat with the board, but you’re getting all the ladies cause you’re green.  

3. How’s the plan come together? Well, once you’re forced to resign for sleeping with colleagues, the amount of $ you have to return will be based on what? The share price. Which you’ve already tanked. Thus lowering the amount of money you have to return. Check-mate.

CLIMATE PROTESTER THROWN IN JAIL

• A climate activist has been jailed for six months after pleading guilty to taking part in a peaceful slow march protest on a London road. The sentence handed to Stephen Gingell, 57, is thought to be the first jailing under a new law that critics say makes anyone walking in a road liable for prosecution for “interference with key national infrastructure”.

  • Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahaha. God save the Queen.

• Gingell, a father of three, was one of about 40 supporters of Just Stop Oil who spent about 30 minutes marching on Holloway Road in north London at about 4pm on November 12th, the climate campaign group said.

  • While jailing a father of 3 is not easy, at least the courts don’t have to worry about any lost income for the family on account of the fact Mr. Gingell was almost undoubtedly already unemployed.

• A spokesperson for Just Stop Oil responded to the sentencing by pointing out: “How many fathers will be imprisoned before those planning to kill us are stopped? New oil and gas will see millions upon millions lose their homes, livelihoods and lives. Protected by the government, by failed politicians, by the police, those committing genocide continue to walk free, those protesting the killings are banged up. Whose side are you on?”

  • Thankfully, hyperbole isn’t also a crime in England or this guy would be doing 25 to life. But what’s weird is if the oil and gas industry is trying to commit genocide wouldn’t that mean Greta Thurnberg should be on our side then?

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