ResNet Review is the Energy Newsletter for the Shalennial Generation

Here are our top Energy Headlines for the Second Half of September:

1. ROCKEFELLER GOES GREEN ♻️

2. SHELL CEO GETS HEAT 🤬

ROCKEFELLER GOES GREEN

• The Rockefeller Foundation announced Friday that it would invest more than $1 billion over the next five years in strategies that combat climate change.

  • This one has to put the climate crusaders in a little bit of a pretzel. Are they really going to allow themselves to be greenwashed by the foundation started by the GOAT of fossil fuels?

• The organization said they plan to donate $5 million in Battery Energy Storage Systems, $1 million to kick off mini grid development in Zambia, $20 million to Invest in Our Future for climate-smart infrastructure, and $35 million in climate-finance investments.

  • Yes, apparently, to the question above.

• The Rockefeller Foundation’s philanthropic history began with an endowment of $100 million from John D. Rockefeller in 1913. “This new strategy aligns with the Rockefeller Foundation’s vision of encouraging scaled investment and seeking creative and science-based solutions to intractable problems,” a foundation spokesperson said.

  • While Rockefeller himself has been dead for many years, we asked ChatGPT to generate a theoretical response to this announcement and all they provided was the picture below.

SHELL CEO GETS HEAT

• Shell CEO Wael Sawan has come under pressure over his strategy from within the energy company after two employees issued a rare open letter urging him not to scale back investments in renewable energy, sparking an internal debate.

  • Uh-oh, the woke hotline is ringing and the call is coming from inside the house. Let’s see what they have to say.

• The open letter comes after Sawan outlined at an investor day in June plans to slow investment in renewables and low-carbon business as part of a strategy to boost returns.

  • Boosting returns?! WTF. As a publicly traded company with a fiduciary duty to shareholders, boosting returns should be the last thing on a CEO’s mind when speaking at an investor day.

• "For a long time, it has been Shell's ambition to be a leader in the energy transition. It is the reason we work here," said the letter which was addressed to Sawan and the Shell executive committee. "The recent announcements at and after the capital markets day deeply concern us... We can only hope the optics of the CMD announcements are deceiving us and that Shell continues its path as a leader in the energy transition."

  • The CEO responded to the letter by saying, “ Listen up you f—--- clowns, I just blew $20 billion on energy transition activities in 2022 and I got jack s—- to show for it. The board’s up my ass. You want to come and explain to them why our stock’s down 5% over the last 5 years while Chevron is up 40% in that same time period? Be my guest. Or… how about rather than writing cute letters pandering to the vocal minority, you do your job and find me an energy transition investment that has even remotely comparable returns to drilling for oil (remember oil? That commodity this company has been successfully producing for 100 years?) and I’ll GLADLY underwrite it. Until then, I’ll be in the arena! I’ll be trying things! ”

• (JK, he didn’t actually say that. He just tucked his tail between his legs and soft-pedaled home)

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A Little About ResNet

ResNet AI Inc. is an oil and gas software company that specializes in operations surveillance and asset management software, as well as bespoke digital & reservoir services. Our mission is to Unite the Field & Office towards common corporate objectives. Our software and services are purpose-built for oil & gas applications, and if this newsletter isn’t testimony to that - then you should check out Tinder for the Oilfield, or WellTender, or as we Shalennials call it: Tender 🔥 - where you can swipe right, swipe left, and get the right guy to the right job at the right time 😎

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